|My Ancestors come from Babylon
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|Author:||Hwkhuntswalking [ Sun Jun 24, 2007 2:32 pm ]|
|Post subject:||My Ancestors come from Babylon|
That's why I tend to babble on...
I hereby request permission to revise & extend my remarks germane to the Post I left in both Cabinet Secretary Election Threads, I being MG T Phillips, CSA 4/3/I/AoA.
Risking yet another critical thought, I've begun a New Thread, as this isn't really about this particular contested cabinet seat but in my remaining a member of the Club (which, unfortunately, I love too much to leave Voluntarily any more than I can silence myself).
I've heard there's an Arab proverb to the effect that: One possesses any given word only up to the moment of utterance: thenceforward, the word owns it's speaker.
The particularly objectional phrase was inspired by the composition of other authors, Suh, but yours served as catalyst.
I've no real beef with you: we've never had prior contact, as you know unless on behalf of some new Officer.
I'll freely admit that I responded out of anger because my feelings had been hurt by the man you support. The tone & tenor of your remarks (as I felt them) were reminiscent of those that had caused my injury but allow me, please to endeavor to elucidate more fully.
The statement made that I was the only one confused about the AoA report form was made before my entire then command, II Corps Artillery.
The statement itself, which could only be verified by canvassing the entire AoA, was delivered (I felt) as though such a survey had in fact been conducted.
Further yet, I could not imagine how my Army CO, in wording himself just precisely so, again in front of my command, could not expect that I might find his remark somewhat uncomplimentary.
This was from the sole officer up my chain of command that had ever contacted me & even said hello , unless I wrote with some question. Gen Cuneo offered me maneuvers & we played several short Gettysburg scenarios.
I was honored & held him in the same awe & esteem as all my Elders in the Club.
I even believed he thought me an asset to AoA.
Almost immediately upon feeling publicly humiliated by my Army CO, I received a private communication from same, relieving me of command of II Corps Artillery.
In the swirl of shame & anger it was difficult not to see the two events as connected.
If Gen Cuneo knew anything about my subsequent attempt to resign the CSA & join the Yankees or anything in any way relating to how I felt about our exchange of communications it was not because I told him.
My next contact was to identify for him the vacant Horse Artillery Btn in I Corps Cavalry/AoA, pursuant to his orders.
In the meanwhile I resigned as VMI Deputy Commantant/Instructor as
I suddenly didn't want to be involved in the Club anymore, beyond Simple Joe Gamer.
Subsequent to this completely unexpected turn of events, I was copied a few items of correspondence between Gen Cuneo & Gen Kunz.
This was my first indication that there was a wider controversy at work here.
As near as I could read it, Gen Cuneo resented Gen Kunz over his Tenure as VMI Commandant, during which time several new "Staff" positions were created at VMI, including Dean of Cadets, then offered to me & indeed I served as the inagural VMI Dean of Cadets.
I still can't believe it just like I couldn't believe it when I'd been asked.
Sappy Sentimentality, yes & 100% sincere.
However, it seemed that Gen Cuneo viewed these moves & Nick Kunz with suspicion, perhaps even resentment, as an upstart newcomer trying to build his private power base within CSA, stocked with his favorites (making me one such by default).
While not beyond the range of possibility, it portrayed Gen Kunz in a light I had never had reason to view him, ironically & eerily similar to what had actually happened between Jon Cuneo & myself & he seemed the malvelent soul dangerous to the Club (as I experienced it).
Again, though, it was the tone & tenor of Gen Cuneo's communication, on that occasion (as I experienced it), wherein he identified those moves Commandant Kunz had made, cast it in just that light: as an unfriendly powerbase (packed with Kunz's "favorites") & said to the effect that the only reason Gen Kunz was CSA CoA was because he, Gen Cuneo didn't want it (all he ever wanted was AoA, he declared) & some other mess about handing out Medals like Candy.
I'm sorry...everybody, I'm sorry but whatever was going on here this just felt so harsh & absolutely unfriendly. Practically screaming "Team!?! There is no Team!! There Never was no Team!!!"
Again, how it felt to me.
Look, I don't have a problem apologizing to anyone or believing I may have been overzealous, inaccurate & impolitic in my remarks (without question, they were viscious & ungentlemenly) particularly as I did not clearly distinguish between how it felt to me & how it may have been meant by the speaker. Lord Knows I am famous for being judged oversensitive. But I don't have time for this kind of agony.
While I liked the VMI experience, Division & Corps command just seems like extra work. I don't have website building & maintaining skills &, while I've always considered Army of Alabama's the Best Site by far, in all due respect I think I had better find a command elsewhere, in AoM or ANV, if any'll have me.
I've made friends across the world. The ACWGC experience has transformed me in a deep & fundamental way.
Allow me then to relate a tale that happens to be true & one that ought to enable several to simply dismiss my remarks out of hand as emanating from a nonentity, an insignificant, inconsequential no-account, thereby saving those individuals the useless & pointless labor of further reading (should I ever make another post). I'll be as frank & candid, explicit & concise, while painting as full a picture as I am able, hoping thereby to leave no room for doubt as to my true & sincere sentiments.
It is for the reader to determine the degree of, if & what constitutes mitigating circumstances, if one even holds to the concept but my desire & intent is to own all that is mine.
I've been a Confederate not quite 1 1/2 years & consequently consider myself a veritable newbie still with an inherent need to be circumspect in all my dealings, with all, surely but with my 'Elders, Mentors & Predecessors, in particular. From the beginning I have felt myself overwhelmingly in awe to find myself in the company of such Gentlemen as Yourselves.
After having had literally no close friends or associates in more than 30 years I found myself making the acquaintance of & forming friendships with individuals who had made choices I wished I had.
Federal POs & Judges, Teachers & many Active Duty Military personnel & Law Enforcement Professionals, many, many Vets.
Folks who'd gone to University & had raised families, worthy & notable achievements all. Their intercourse with me was nearly universal in their Kind & Gracious attentions, particularly my very first contacts, DH Smith, my Instructor & Nick Kunz, then Commandant at VMI.
I have been a lifelong recluse. That's a 50 year old Hermit
(lacking but a Cave).
I am self-educated.
More correctly, my last full year of formal public education was 9th grade, with Ds, Es & Fs.
I dreamed of being a soldier when I was a wee lad.
(Wanted to jump on hand grenades & save my buddies).
Open heart & the consequent pacemaker at age 8 in 1965 precluded any manifestation of that particular Dream of Martial Glory & the teasing I received attendant upon my "wearing" a pacemaker is what drove me into seclusion.
Tinker Toy Man, Battery Man & Robot Man sound almost quaint, now & I don't find it difficult to imagine almost anyone holding up better than I did, however...IamthatIam.
I have believed in Destiny & True Love but it took until year 43 to find each other, by then both rather battered & scarred.
I'm the 'Aging Hippie Type' in appearance & a 50 yr. old Pothead in reality.
I've never shot up but I've smoked crack & while far from my fondest memory I can never make it so it never happened.
It was a horrible world, the likes of nothing I had ever seen. I was lucky & determined that that was not how I wanted to go down.
At age 16 I began 9th months in-patient stay at Clinton Valley Center, formally Pontiac State Hospital, the state mental health facility in Pontiac, Michigan, county seat of Oakland County where I was born & raised, the all-white suburbs of Royal Oak, like Leave it to Beaver in color, that's my background & where I come from.
Raised to have Integrity, Patriotism, respect for authority, Trust in Policemen & pride in my appearance.
I only made 2nd Class but I still can recite the Twelve Scout Laws & absolutely loved scouting & history & my country.
But I never formed any relationships.
Trade school followed Clinton Valley but after graduating & working about a year began a series of yearly relapses that led to involuntary inpatient hospital stays for the next ten years until 1988, straight through my twenties. Lived with my divorced Mom until 30, no career, no family, no woman.
In 1975 it was paranoid schizophrenia, they told me I had, described as a Chemical Imbalance, inoperable &, essentially incurable, if treatable.
By the end it had passed through undifferentiated schizophrenia to Bi polar (with schizophrenic tendencies).
All I know is I learned how not to get locked up (I always make sure I know my name, what day it is & who's President) & I don't take meds, even if I'm not actually cured.
Both "conditions" coombined to paying for my Trade School Training, at State Technical Institute & Rehabilitation Center, Plainwell, Michigan (25 miles north of Kalamazoo), a state own & operated trade school in rural western Michigan for the Handicapped & Vets/Vet-dependants.
Cabinetmaking & Millwork was 1 of perhaps 13 different Trades being taught, from Janitorial to Drafting, Watch, Clock & Jewelry repair, Floor Covering, Upholstery & Food Service Training.
I lived & studies 2+ yrs with Hearing Impaired & the Wheel Chair Bound & amputees with artificial limbs.
Not my first experience hanging with 'crips', or thinking of myself as one, for I'd gone to Camp Grace Bently, just north of Port Huron & supported by the Michigan League for Crippled Children (they had a special "Cardiac session", the fourth & final of their fortnight "sessions" each summer.
I saw children in wheelchairs, others with withered limbs & deformed bodies & minds.
Kids, in every other way like children everywhere.
So then, if any of this could have any cognitive point...
I just don't get the 'seeming' rancor & 'seeming' pettiness & I won't get into endless debate jousting whatever it is & simply keep my mouth closed, opinionless & invisible hereafter. <salute>
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