Gentlemen,
I’ve done aheard of this mighty fine tavern, and I’m a right proud to have been a granted registration. Now I’m a sure y’all have noticed these here 2 bars on ma collar showins me to be a new Fld. Lt. in the great CSA Army. I’m sure you freedom luvin Rebs will join me in a drink and toast to a long life to our beloved Confederacy, Jefferson Davis, and General Lee. May God provide us health to defend her, or else we’ll all become slaves to Washington D.C. You Yanks in here can just remain asittin while we toast.
Now I’ll grant youins, I may not know much about fancy soldiering. But I recon since I growed up in them there Tennessee hills and mountains, n can track a little tinder footed deer through hollers and up hills, n kin shoot a squirrel or coon in a tree through their eye at a hunnerd paces, I kin find a whole army of booted blue-bellies and shoot a couple betwixt their pointy ears.
Now that I’ve done finished ma whiskey n paid my respects to ma country n fellow officers, I think I’ll mosey on down to the Opponent Finder board n scare up a Yank or two for target practice. If any you Yanks in here got a mind, some time fer fightns, and aren’t a to ascirt of fight’n, I’ll see youins down thar.
On ma way out, I’ll give a final tip of my hat to ma Commandant at VMI, Gen. Willie Tisdale, to ma Dean of Cadets, Lt. Colonel Kent Olsen, and to ma DI, Lt. General Paul Smith. I tell anybody, theys all gentlemen n right fine officers.
Fld. Lt. Vincent ‘Pup’ Barker
Not Assigned but headed to the Western Theater
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