American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

The following study was conducted by the Army of the Mississippi's Chief Historian, Edward Gibbon Gatlin:

After an exhaustive study of soldiers from every Confederate Army I have come to the unmistakable conclusion that there are, indeed, finer fighting men in the western states than in the east. My definition of "western" has boiled down to include soldiers from Alabama, West and Central Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Florida and parts of Georgia and North Carolina. My conclusion is based on the following evidence.

1) Western soldiers generally have a greater understanding of fighting and surivival as they have been raised away from the plush cities of the east
NOTE: Eastern soldiers adamently denied this factor and we spent many a night in teahouses and at the opera debating it.
2) The average Western soldier can load and fire an aimed shot nearly 10 seconds faster than his Eastern counterparts
NOTE: In some instances Eastern soldiers tried to rush and we had three unfortunate fatalities.
3) Western soldiers have the ability to fire a ball through the eye of a rabbit at 50 feet with uncanny accuracy
NOTE: This test was attempted in the East but the soldiers there routinely fled from the rabbit screaming "runaway!"
4) Western soldiers have the ability to use bayonets on the enemy
NOTE: Eastern soldiers are also equipped with bayonets but I found them being used for pot holders, candlesticks, and toothpicks.
5) Western officers are better leaders than Eastern officers
NOTE: I was to meet with Eastern officers about this topic but Congress was out of session and all had returned home to campaign.

Oddly enough, the same was true for our boys in blue.

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Lt. Col. P. A. Thompson
4/1/XIV
AotC

General Strickler Sir - we all know which is the prime army of the Confederate States Of America Sir - the ARMY OF NORTHERN VIRGINIA! You Westerners seem to get very confused.
I will say though that we are very proud of our western units from Texas, Arkansas and even Mississippi.

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General Stewart Stiles

Army of Northern Virginia

True, the ANV is the main CSA Army. And if money, parades, boozing, and politicking could win a war we would have nothing to worry about! Send us Westerners some new weapons, some backpay, and, God help us, some toilet paper, and we will put a quick end to all this.

Toilet paper! We will organise a raid immediately. We can't have our Western compatriots being caught short. I understand that the Yanks have special designs on their paper - pictures of various politicians etc. We will send our cavalry out to see what they can come up with - the Great Toiletpaper Raid - has a certain ring to it doesn't it?

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General Stewart Stiles

Army of Northern Virginia

This could develop into a uncivil War within a Civil War.

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Gen. Drex Ringbloom,
AotS ,Commanding

Of course the Western troops were better in both armies, they had the veterans from the East always coming to bail them out....

I also find how he defined the West as almost all of the CSA!

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General Scott Ludwig
4/II/ANV

Almost all of the CSA indeed

(nudges Gen. Stiles and Gen. Ludwig who he notices have both gained about 40 pounds since leaving the Western Theater)

At least they weren't using bayonets to trim their nose hairs

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General Neal Hebert
Edward C. Walthall Division (2nd aka "Gator Alley")
II Corps, Army of the West
CSA Cabinet Secretary

We don't want to give our Western troops toilet paper. Having to wipe on tree bark is what makes them mean.

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General Kennon Whitehead
Chatham Grays
AoT II/1/3 (CSA)

I have actually gained weight in real life since leaving this command position....

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General Scott Ludwig
4/II/ANV

General Strickler I have read Mr Gatlin's report - damn fine piece of academic work. It is about time the rest of America understood just how fine we soldiers of the west really are. I have also heard that Mr Catlin is due to publish his studies on how damn ugly eastern soldiers are and another on the poor dress sense of Yankee officers - can't wait

General Hebert I tried to use a bayonet to trim my nose hairs - bloody hell it hurt.

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General Cam McOmish

Brigade Commander
Alabama State Volunteers
Cleburne's Division
Hardee's Corps
(1/1/1)
Army of Tennessee
Confederate States of America