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| To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas message http://www.wargame.ch/board/acwgc/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=18317 |
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| Author: | Drex [ Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas message |
The morning was cold and crisp and the snow was beginning to fall when the sentries spotted a group of riders approaching. The sentries weren't alarmed as the group was dressed in Confederate gray - except for one rider who was in Union blue. "Who they bringin' in, you s'pose/ A prisoner?" "I guess we'll know soon enough, Eli." The riders came up to the sentries and a captain -who was evidently leading the group - removed an envelope from his breast pocket and leaning over, handed to the sentry named Eli. " This union officer has been given permission by President Davis to pass through our lines to see Gen. Swan. Please escort him to the General's tent immediately. We will escort him back to his lines when their business has concluded." " Yes sir,Captain!" That we'll do!" The blue-uniformed officer dismounted and followed the sentries to the largest tent in the camp. Eli handed the envelope to the guard outside the tent entrance and told him that Gen. Swan had a visitor. After a few minutes the guard came out and told the union officer to come in. The Union officer entered and saw that Gen. Swan was seated at a small field desk with a stack of papers before him. The guest qucily removed his overcat revealing a respendent blue-dress uniform with the required gold braid and epaulets. He was also wearing the three stars of a lieutenant-general. "Gen.Swan, let me introduce myself: Lt.Gen. Ringbloom of the Army of the Shenandoah. President Davis was good enough to give me a pass through your lines on a matter of importance to both of us." "I am glad to make your acquaintance General. What matter of importance are you referring to?" " I am referring to the slanders, despicable lies, insults, and other slurs upon our honor that you and your army have been spreading around concerning the AotS. I will not honor these attacks by listing them. I only want your immediate apology and promise that you and your rabble will no longer practice these despicable exercises of verbal abuse." Gen. Swan got up out of his chair and confronted Gen. Ringbloom. "How dare you, Sir, come into my camp and accuse me of things of which I am innocent and unaware of! I will not apologize for depredations on your Army because how do I know they are untrue?" "Gen. Swan, you know what this means, don't you? WAR!" General Ringbloom adroitly( I used adroitly because the last rebel army didn't understand 'deftly') removed his dress gloves and slapped Gen. Swan twice, once on each cheek with a "slap,slap!" and threw them to the ground. "I used these gloves on Gen. Stiles and Gen. Garner and now I use them on you! Pick them up and meet us on the battlefield." " I hope you had the decency to wash those gloves first, General. I will give you my answer in my good time. Now good day!" General Ringbloom left the tent, mounted his steed, and rode off in the rising mist. |
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| Author: | prax [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
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| Author: | Drex [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
How articulate. A picture is worth 10,000 southern expressions. I have at least 20 brigades formed and on the march. Please forward your OOB, such as it is, to me asap so we can get this matter settled. I will need name ,rank OBD pts and the games of each of your officers to complete our battles lines. I repeat, I have 20 brigades ready to go now. If you can field more, do so. Lt. Gen. Drex Ringbloom |
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| Author: | Neal Hebert [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Gentlemen <salute> Here we go with those damned gloves again. General Swan, give 'em hell! |
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| Author: | Drex [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Perhaps Neal, one day I will use them on you  They have slapped some distingusihed jaws.
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| Author: | Neal Hebert [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 7:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
General Ringbloom <salute> Suh, I suppose that excludes me for a while  Highest regards, |
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| Author: | prax [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Drex wrote: How articulate. A picture is worth 10,000 southern expressions. I have at least 20 brigades formed and on the march. Please forward your OOB, such as it is, to me asap so we can get this matter settled. I will need name ,rank OBD pts and the games of each of your officers to complete our battles lines. I repeat, I have 20 brigades ready to go now. If you can field more, do so. Lt. Gen. Drex Ringbloom 
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| Author: | Drex [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Southern racoons have some unusual rituals. 
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| Author: | KWhitehead [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
That's why down here they are called Coonasses, but up North y'all know them as Louisiana Tigers. 
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| Author: | Olinsky [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
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| Author: | prax [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Notice the poor placement of the plant foot and the loose ankle. He's going to shank that shot, as the cat is plainly telling him. Off balance and poorly aimed, if he is not a Chelsea man, he must be a Yank. |
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| Author: | Olinsky [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Lt General Swan, Prax, Hummm... very interesting how two individuals can see things so differently!  Looking forward to the upcoming Winter Offensive against the Army of Georgia! <salute> |
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| Author: | Neal Hebert [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
General Swan <salute> Suh, my compliments! I'm not certain, but the cat appears poised to leap at the offending gentlemen and attaching itself to a very sensitive area. If the poor plant foot placement and loose ankle don't cause him to shank it, an animal full of teeth and claws attached to his privates will probably do it Highest regards, |
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| Author: | Drex [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
That hurts to even think about it. |
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| Author: | Olinsky [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To Lt.Gen. Prax Swan and the Army of Georgia: a Xmas mes |
Lt General Ringbloom, Drex, Lt General Hebert has been the victim of a multitude of painful accidents over the years. He does not tell these stories from an overactive imagination but from experience. I highly doubt that he has any privates left at all... and judging by the Army of the Mississippi's roster... there's no privates in that whole outfit! I guess the policy in the Confederate Army is... "Screw Up... Move Up"! Probably why there are so many dad blamed Rebel Generals in the AotM!
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