American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

These two yankees rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow."
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

A Southerner is walking down the street when he sees a Northerner with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Yank's ignorance, the Reb wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The yankee grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot Rebel! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"

Q: How did Jeb Stuart stop the yankee cavalry?
A: He turn off the carousel.

Q: How do you know if a Yankee has been using a computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.

And Lastly.....

Q: How do you keep a Yankee in suspense?
A:

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

Cameron designed it to guard his drink while he is in the bathroom.

Let us not forget about the Reb who read that most traffic accidents happen within 5 miles of home, so he moved to a new house 6 miles away.

Or how about the Rebel who, after using the bathroom at a restaurant, saw a sign that read "Employees MUST wash hands after using the toilet!". He stayed in the bathroom for hours waiting for an employee to come and wash his hands.

Oh yes, I almost forgot:

What about the Reb who got stuck filing out a form on his computer. He looked and looked at his keyboard but just could not find the 'ANY' key to press.

(I know these cases are unbelievable. After all, who ever heard of a Reb that could read!!!!)

I work in electronics store and your joke about people looking for the "ANY" key... dang that could easily happen!


I see people every day come and complain their laptop won't work. I turn it over and they never placed the battery inside it.

Their movie won't play? Maybe it's because they bought an X-Box game

Their Kindle won't let them read books. Probably because they didn't download any.

Lastly, "wireless" does not mean the internet magically appears on your screen! You must connect to a network, first.


Oh... and I must go to work tomorrow... what new complaint shall I hear? Someone with a Television from 1975 who can't find their HDMI input?

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My GOD!!! How big are their horses??? Must be a Big cavalry raid. Flush em out boys.

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General
Frank (Old Banshee) Mullins,
2nd Brigade, 1st Division, XVI Corps.
Army of the Tennessee.

Yankee soldier finds housing for his wife not far from the fort. One day somebody notices that the First Sergeant has been closing his office and riding off at about 2pm every day. They all decide, once the 1st Sgt is gone they will all take the rest of the day off, too.
Next day the 1st Sgt rides off promptly at 2pm, so the whole company splits. Yankee soldier rides home and sees the 1st Sgt's horse tethered to Yankee soldier's front porch. He goes up on the porch and hears moaning and groanin and other indications of passion coming from inside. Yankee soldier jumps on his horse and rides away.
Next day, same thing. One of the pards says, "First Sgt just left, lets get outta here."
Yankee soldiers says, "Oh no, are you crazy? Yesterday I almost got caught!"

Ferry
2lt

Aim low, boys!
They're riding Shetland ponies

Ferry
2lt

Geez

Im an old 1SG....how did someone know my shannigans.......

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

FLT Ferry

my compliments...

I wondered why Lincoln set-up trade negotiations with Scotland....
it all makes sense now.....

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

q: Why did the Yank have "TGIF" printed in the heels of his boots?
a: Toes Go In First

Yank goes to the barber wearing a set of headphones, asking the barber to cut around the headphones. After a while the barber looks at the mess and feels the need to remove the headphones for a proper trim, upon which the Yank drops dead on the floor. Stunned by the events, the barber decides to put on the headphones to hear for himself what was being broadcast and hears "breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out......."

A Yank and his buddy are walking down the road and come across a ladie's compact. Billy picks it up, opens it, and sees his reflection in the mirror. "There's a picture in there, but I don't know who it is" he says to his friend. His friend grabs the compact, looks at it, and replies "Billy, you idiot. That's me!".

Billy Yank arrives home from drill early and catches his wife in bed with another man. He walks to the closet, grabs his shotgun and points it at his chin. "Billy, don't do it!" screams his wife. Billy looked at her and replied "Don't worry, you're next".

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General Neal Hebert
Edward C. Walthall Division (2nd aka "Gator Alley")
II Corps, Army of the West
CSA Cabinet Secretary

LTG Hebert

Well Done....well done....

_________________
General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

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General Ernie Sands
President ACWGC -Sept 2015- Dec 2020
7th Brigade, 1st Division, XVI Corps, AoT
ACWGC Records Site Admin

"If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there."