Gentlemen and officers of the ACWGC
It is with a heavy heart that I pick up my electronic quill (my keyboard…
) to tell of the Massacre at Perryville. Excuse me while I brace myself for the telling of this grisly tale. * takes a long pull from an earthenware jug, draining half of it in the process *The noble Lieutenant Greenely and myself had agreed to meet General Robert Meadows and Captain Dennis Holt on the fields of battle near Perryville, Kentucky. Ah. My dear mother’s home state. * removes his hat from his head, bowing as he does. Replaces hat * (That's actually true)
The night before this unfortunate incident occurred, the good Lieutenant agreed that he would take the much larger II Corp and I would take the smaller I and III Corp. We had decided that we would begin an advance, with myself bringing my respective Corp along the Springfield Pike, eventually deploying in a good battle line along Doctors Creek, while Lt. Greenely would advance the II Corp along the Lebanon Pike, using his cavalry as a screen to his front.
*pauses, tears filling his eyes, puts a hand to his mouth*
Those poor boys…
*sniff* I have to give credit to my men, marching admirably as they moved quickly to the advance, eagerness in every heart.
About noon or a little after, I had begun a search for a missing box of cigars in my foot locker. Realizing I had given an extra box to the good Lieutenant, I dispatched my faithful, noble, mute banjo player Percival to acquire a few from the Lt. when, glancing out of my tent flap, I was surprised to see Lt. Greenely and his staff approaching.
The good Lieutenant had just arrived to tell me that his advance was progressing well and that his cavalry had also detected a force of Rebel cavalry to his front in the vicinity of Hope’s Creek. I informed him that I had also made contact with an advance Rebel cavalry unit in the vicinity of the Benton Road. He had no sooner dismounted from his horse and sat down by the fire, that a courier arrived from his advance cavalry unit, stating that they had a unit of Confederate cavalry heavily outnumbered and wanted permission to attack.
Fire flying from his eyes, the Lieutenant yelled, “Attack!” and moved quickly to his horse to depart to his now engaged forces.
As he swung into the saddle, the distant rattle of musket fire greeted both us. Confused, we looked at each other and, mounting my own noble steed, we galloped to a small overlook near the Lawrence House. Uncasing my field glasses, and putting them to my eyes, the carnage that greeted me was horrific to behold.
Blue clad men lay everywhere, their poor pixelated bodies in mangled heaps. An extremely large host of Confederate cavalry milled about the poor lads corpses, emptying haversacks of whatever they possessed. Every corpse had his boots removed with the Rebs sitting down and putting them on by the poor soul that they had just killed to get them. OH THE HORROR!!!!
*takes another long drink from the jug, emptying it*
I also beheld the noble Percival, still mounted on his horse, swinging his banjo like a war club, braining Rebs as he fought his way back to friendly lines. Yes. Percival has been schooled in the art of banjo defense, a course taught by none other than General Cam McOmish. His four part instruction course is available for purchase through yours truly. Gold is accepted willingly as is a pound of that good ‘Suthen tabacca. Proceeds go to the purchase of our own still equipment, which is a cause I know we can all get behind, gentlemen.
That was about it, sir’s. It turns out the Lieutenants lucky shirt was in one of the poor massacred staff officers' saddlebags...and he just won’t fight without it.
I’ve asked the noble Percival to play “I Can Hear Kentucky Calling Me” to honor the fallen, gallant 1st Cavalry Brigade
https://youtu.be/Y_lb-i-wgvY
*If anyone is a bluegrass fan, check out the link I posted. It is indeed “I Can Hear Kentucky Calling Me” by the Osborne Brothers. One leggit banjo player*
In all seriousness, I tip my hat to Denny and Rob. I’ve been beat more times than I care to count, but never that quickly. Two top rate gamers for sure. Extremely well met and fought, gentlemen. It was a valuable lesson on overextending my cavalry. Respect to you both. In 7 turns you had enough points to win a 35 turn scenario.
