Soldats de l'Empire et de l'Armée du Rhin, Attention!
Messieurs! Kindly remove your hats, and observe a moment of silence out of respect for a tragedy. Only fragments of information have reached the editorial offices of the NWC Newsletter, but in the finest tradition of 19th-Century journalism, a paucity of facts shall never stand in the way of a good story.
Friends, it is a lurid tale. Prince Eugène reports that a terrible conflagration engulfed and all but destroyed his Poste de Commande (PC). Never daunted, our Hero had wisely entrusted copies of all vital Armée du Rhin files to a Camarade D'Armes (CD). But woe, alackaday! The supposedly loyal comrade was corrupted, doubtless by English Gold, after the manner of the treacherous Capitaine Fustel. Shame, shame on Perfidious Albion! Thus are we deprived of our rightful ration of news through the machinations of a nation of pirates and shopkeepers.
Shall the Sons of France lose heart in adversity? No, no, a thousand times no! We defy John Bull to do his worst, while we contentedly enjoy the glories of Continental Culture: the Opéra and (from the renowned Gallerie Beauharnais) a selection of Empire visual arts!