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| Keeping things in perspective https://www.wargame.ch/board/cc/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2508 |
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| Author: | Al Amos [ Thu Aug 08, 2002 3:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Keeping things in perspective |
We all know the ranks, some even know the job duties. Below is a brief description of each rank's abilities. General: Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a steam engine, is faster than a speeding bullet. Gives policy to GOD. Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a shunting engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water, if the sea is calm. Talks with GOD. Lt. Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Is almost as powerful as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special request is approved. Major: Barely clears a nissen hut. Loses tug-of-war with a steam engine. Can fire a speeding bullet, and swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD. Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by trains. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dogpaddles, talks to animals. Lieutenant: Runs into tall buildings. Recognises trains two out of three times. Is not issued with ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a life jacket. Talks to walls. 2nd Lieutenant: Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter buildings. Says "Look at Choo Choo". Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself. Sgt. Major: Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks steam-engines off the track. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. HE IS GOD! Lt. Col. Al Amos 1st U.S. Dragoons 1812-R |
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