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I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General
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Author:  Al Amos [ Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:34 pm ]
Post subject:  I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery--
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.


You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

-to you Dierk![:D]
Author:  Ernie Sands [ Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
WOW! A rime![;)]
Author:  G Cope [ Thu Sep 18, 2003 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mr Amos!

Very sublime
... but who's got the time
to make a good rhyme ...

then again there's Amos
.. this rime will make em famous
[:o)][:o)][:o)]
Author:  D.S. Walter [ Mon Sep 22, 2003 9:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Two questions--

1) what tune?
2) what does it have to do with me? [:I]
Author:  Zettlemyer [ Mon Sep 22, 2003 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
<blockquote id="quote"><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by D.S. Walter</i>
<br />Two questions--

1) what tune?
2) what does it have to do with me? [:I]
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

I believe, Sir, it was his attempt at a quip after your question to me "What's wrong with Major Generals?"

...and its from the Broadway Musical Comedy---H.M.S. Pinafore
Author:  Al Amos [ Mon Sep 22, 2003 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
... but of course it's from HMS Pinafore! I thought everyone knew that!! [:D]

I added complete credits when I posted it last year. [;)]

... and right you are, it was posted in response to Dierk's query. [:)]
Author:  D.S. Walter [ Wed Oct 15, 2003 5:58 am ]
Post subject: 
So this was meant to represent Sir Garnet Wolseley? One of my favorite British generals, of course. [^]
Author:  838 [ Wed Oct 29, 2003 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am the very model of a modern Major-General druggist!!!

HE STRIKES AGAIN!!!
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