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<font size="4">Why Join France!!</font id="size4">
Watch Our New Recruitment Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs
Onward to Glory!
For all ages of these lands stand the prominent one of them all. I speak of France. The French Armee is one of the best chances to make something of yourself in this club. It is a proud force that offers many perks for its members. True to Impeiral style they are dominant on the battlefield and have some of the most famous regiments about. We are a high strung force that tries to have fun and encourage good gamesmanship and positive additude. We don't require you to be constantly playing games. Sometimes we don't pester you every month with musters. Our pages are sort of kept up to date and offer more than just a gaming HQ with historical bios in the III Corps. We offer a land grant and title to anyone who shows up to dress parade. We have unweildy rank points and medals based solely on victories. We also have way too many openings and room for growth.
Listen to these words:
<i>Arthur: We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of Knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're banging 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through —
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: Well, Mercia's a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Guard: ... Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
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Frenchman: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-nnnnnnnniggits! [makes taunting gestures at them]
Sir Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now look here, my good man —
Frenchman: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
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Arthur: The Castle Aaaaarrrgh. Our quest is at an end! God be praised! [kneels and prays] Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast bought safe to us the most Holy — [loud BOING in the background] JESUS CHRIST! [A sheep drops upon Arthur and Bedevere. The annoying Frenchman appears.]
Frenchman: 'Allo, little English K-niggits and Monsieur Ah-thoor Keeng who has the brain of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows outwit you a second time-a!
Arthur: How dare you profane this place with your presence?! I command you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of this sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
Frenchman: How you English say "I one more time-a unclog my nose in your direction," sons of a window-dresser! So, you zought you could outclever us French folk with your silly knees-bent-running-around-advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy load of second-hand electric donkey-bottom biters!
Arthur: IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, WE DEMAND ENTRANCE TO THIS SACRED CASTLE!
Frenchman: No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
Arthur: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle by force! [The French chuck their waste upon Arthur and Bedevere.] In the name of God and the glory of our — [They do it a second time.] Right! That settles it! [He and Bedevere start to storm off. The French continue to jeer at them.]
Frenchman: Yes, depart at this time and don't be approaching any more, or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already!
Arthur: [to Bedevere] Walk away. Just ignore them.
Frenchman: Yes! Go! And remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And if you zink you got nasty taunting ZIS time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English K-niggits! Thhhhhhppppph!</i>
Thus was the brave words men of the 4th Light Winetippers!! All up and down the lines our great Emperor was heard to have said: Where is Grouchy? Where is Grouchy!! That day, that famous day at Waterloo!! Our Emperor carried his undying quest of Honor and Glory to crush those who don't eat cheese!! Napoleon would carry the day time and time again!! Fearing nothing and no man!! Death Looked him in the face and he Laughed!!
Our HQ:
http://www.wargame.org.uk/lga1.htm
Feel free to e-mail too:
littleshortman@imperialfrance.fr
Who knows maybe you will be the next Napoleon, the <b>only</b> man who was never afraid of Big Bird!!
You know what they say. Once you go blue you're screwed!!
Besides France played a major part in 3 of Napoleon's 3 defeats!! Like today!! [:D]
This message was brought to you by the Council to Find More Frenchmen!!</center>
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Empereur Scott Ludwig
(Old Windy) (Windbagwinedrinker) (The Mad Frenchmen) (Monsieur le WindbagenEmpereur)
French Commander in Chief
Empereur de France
Club President
Club Ruler
On to Glory!
[url="http://www.wargame.org.uk/lga1.htm"]French Armee[/url]
[url="http://www.networkforgood.org"]Network for Good[/url]
[url="http://napoleonicwargaming.com"]Napoleonic Wargaming - INWC[/url]</center>
