American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

This one made me laugh.

Ways to upset the Yankees
by Target1221 » Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:21 am
1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.
3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses them no end!
4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
7. Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."
8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.
9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)
11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."
12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".
13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can".
14. Put Tabasco on everything.
15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.
17. Name all of your children "Bubba".
18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.
19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it's not a "pond", it's a "tank."
20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.
21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of 'em.
23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP.
Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "
24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time!
Brig. Gen. Blake Strickler
Army of the Mississippi Commander
Target1221

Oh, General Strickler...you are funny. I will make sure to burn your plantation last.

_________________
Gen. Randy Hartwig
3/3 XVth Corps, AoT

Ways to upset the rebs.

1. password your taverns
2. password your taverns
3. password your taverns
4. password your taverns
5. password your taverns
6. password your taverns
7. password your taverns
8. password your taverns
9. password your taverns
10. password your taverns

Perhaps you are right. No need for passwords among friends. A round on me to celebrate our new friendship.

_________________
Gen. Randy Hartwig
3/3 XVth Corps, AoT

23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "

I think number 23 is my favorite. My grandfather still gives directions like that! "Turn up where the Piggly Wiggly is and then take your next right by the big tree with a dog tied to it. Then drive a piece till ya hit dirt road and then pass old Widow Jones's place... you know her son was in the Army with me back in 1944... he married his third cousin twice removed... then turn right once you see a rock... you will now it when you see it."

Glad to have you visit our humble forum, Gen. Hartwig! You are welcome at anytime. Gen. Groce... even you are welcome my old friend. Although it would be nice if you left your horse outside next time.

As for burning my plantation I wish you luck, sir. It sits up the road a piece from Tallahassee, Florida. To find it travel a good distance west and then turn south where the old chicken coop used to sit...