American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

A Yankee spy was stabbed and killed tonight after he penetrated our defenses around the AotM HQ. The sneaking low-belly bypassed our most important military secrets and plans and headed straight for our Executive "Lounge." Luckily Gen. Malone was taking his evening constitutional at this time. Upon exiting the stall the General saw an unknown officer reaching for the extra rolls of toilet paper. He assumed it was the newly promoted Brig. Gen. Hampus Drott and so kindly offered him a hand. When the man became worried and nervous Malone grew suspicious. The officer did not speak with a Swedish accent and failed to identify his Corps when asked. At this point the General pulled the bowie knife he always keeps with him and demanded to know the man's identity.

The Yank threw himself on the ground and pleaded for mercy! He was a poor Yank Corporal who was suffering from a bad case of the "runs." The Yank army, being hygenically and morally bankrupt, do not supply their armies with TP and force them to use leaves instead. Malone took pity on the man and agreed to let him head on to Andersonville with the other happy Yanks who enjoy the Southern hospitality offered there. Malone even offered a complimentary roll of TP for the trip east. But the Yank, like all Yanks, was greedy. He demanded a second roll! Malone's patience wore out and he ordered the man from the building and called the guards. The Yank than attacked Malone who was forced to run him through with his knife several times before the man finally died a coward's death. Malone straightened his coat, wiped the blood off, and calmly handed the report above to me. "You may invade a man's homeland, his state, and his property... but when you invade his bathroom, sir, you have gone too far!"

Yankees always have a bad case of the runs. Was that on purpose?

LTG Laabs
I A of M

I was waiting to see if anybody caught that...