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 Post subject: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:11 am 
The following was dropped in my Suggestion Box:

Mr. President,

In view of the shortage of manpower in the Club it is advisable we seek to double our Membership through the active recruitment of Women in the Club. By doing so we may be able to double our numbers as we would then be appealing to an additional 3 billion persons in the World.

It is suggested we make the Club more female-friendly by doing the following things:

1) The Blue and the Grey will become the "Baby Blue and the Pink"
2) The Mason Dixon Tavern to be renamed the "Susan B. Anthony Memorial Hall"
3) The Opponent Finder be renamed the "Friend Finder"
4) The Smoking Room to become the "Chit-Chat Club"
5) Every January the ACWGC Cabinet is to release a "Hunk's of the Club Calendar"
6) OBD Points would be gained for hours spent watching Lifetime TV or Oxygen
7) The Book Forum to include a section for "Oprah's Book of the Month"
8] The Civil War is to be referred to now as the "Civil Disagreement"
9) Battles and Maneuvers will no longer be fought - all games are "Exercises"
9a) There are no Victories or Defeats - all games end in a Draw
10) The discussion of alcohol related topics to be banned
10a) Cameron McOmish be expelled for his inability to ever adhere to point #10
11) The Club logo to be changed to a picture of Johnny Depp
12) The term "Army" replaced with "Society" (Society of Alabama)
13) Mustering done once a week via telephone
14) All Confederate Flags to be removed and replaced with the United Nations Flag
15) New ranks be introduced (i.e. Diva, Princess, Queen)

By following these simple steps it is hoped we may be able to double Club Membership by 2012.

Respectfully,
Col. Anonymous


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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:41 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2005 9:49 am
Posts: 391
Location: USA
If we have any women now . . . we just lost them.

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Lt Gen Dwight McBride
Ist Division/1st Brigade
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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 3:21 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2002 8:29 am
Posts: 489
Location: South Africa
How about a webpage on the latest zouave uniform and other fashions.
Gen McOmish's handbag made quite a hit on his most recent visit to Richmond.

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General Stewart Stiles
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Army of Northern Virginia
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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:16 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2001 4:51 pm
Posts: 2795
Location: Massachusetts, USA
That HUNK calendar would REALLY be a HIT! :D :D :D

Have you actually SEEN some of the photo arrays of members!!! :mrgreen: :P :P :P :P :P :wink:

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General Ernie Sands
President ACWGC -Sept 2015
Western Theater, Commander, USA
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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:44 pm
Posts: 1200
Location: USA
Ernie, I know I'd pay to NOT have to look at it!

Bad enough I have a mirror...

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General Jeff Laub
Iron Brigade
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Army of the Potomac


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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:28 am 
Bill Peters wrote:
I propose an amendment to the muster by phone rule. Gals know how to text too you know. :wink:


Oh, yes, I know... whoever invented texting should be dragged outside and beaten. I am shocked how many times I see business emails with terms like, "idk, omg, wtf, ttyl, asaik, bff, rme, l8r."

It worries me that these people make more money than I do... :?


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 Post subject: Re: Proposal to Double Club Membership
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 9:52 am
Posts: 1667
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This is awesome. I also agree with the 'trying to squeeze in more life'. Slow up and relax....I can't stand people who can't sit still for a while or relax at home. Oh and every damn girl likes to be busy ALL the time....with things like 'I am always out and about with friends, blah, blah...' 'I am involved in 10 different sports'....'I don't like being at home'....'I have no focus and need adderall...' They wonder why they are single... :P

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General Scott Ludwig
Commanding Officer & Chief of the Armies (CoA) of the Confederate States of America (CSA)

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