American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

Just to lighten things up and with Posts being slow.....

LT Blake Strickler was jumped by two Rebels and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets.
"You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the Southerners incredulously. "Is that all you wanted?" moaned Blake. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"


Blake was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Southerners. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a Yankee and make fun of me."
Blake went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am very hungry. Give me some shrimp & grits and a glass of sweet tea." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a Dang Yankee?" Blake was taken aback and repeated his request.
The man behind the counter said, "Are you a dang yankee or not?" Blake was very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"

Blake was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later Blake complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.
"What do you think I've been doing," Blake said, "Shoving them up my arse?"

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

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General Ernie Sands
President ACWGC -Sept 2015- Dec 2020
7th Brigade, 1st Division, XVI Corps, AoT
ACWGC Records Site Admin

"If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there."

Still waiting on the jokes... or were those supposed to be them?

Just to prove another point...Yanks have no sense of humor...

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

Nonsense. We have been laughing behind your back all day

I think the line goes, "for all the good them pills done me, I coulda shoved up my arse!"
Believe me, they are NOT tasty!
J

Daggum Blake
always have a comeback....but that's okay....
South raised you ... you just fell in with the wrong crowd.....

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

Blake and Ferry were walking down the street and came across a lady's compact.

Blake opens it up, turns to Ferry, and says "There's somebody's picture in here, but I don't know who it is".

Ferry takes the compact from Blake, looks inside, and replies "Blake, you idiot, that's me".

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General Neal Hebert
Edward C. Walthall Division (2nd aka "Gator Alley")
II Corps, Army of the West
CSA Cabinet Secretary

The other day I met Neal walking his dog, and it was one of the ugliest mutts I have ever seen. Neal explained that the poor hound had been sniffing around Nicodemus and 'Snap!', the canine had lost his nose. I inquired "Well, how does he smell?". Neal replied "Just awful!".

(With apologies to Monty Python)

I keep telling Blake he shouldn't pick stuff up. They could "splode!" compliments of the Torpedo Bureau. Now why would my picture be in a lady's compact anyway? The only place I see it is in my shaving kit.
J

it is sad you have to start picking on animals...let alone the CSM....
I will not abide such low-down....scandalous behavior anymore.....
LT Blake...choose your weapons if you dare!!!!

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

Blake arrives home early one day and catches his lady in bed with another man. He calmly walks over to the closet, pulls out the shotgun and then aims the barrel under his chin.

"Baby, don't do it" screams his woman.

"Don't worry, you're next" replies Blake.

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General Neal Hebert
Edward C. Walthall Division (2nd aka "Gator Alley")
II Corps, Army of the West
CSA Cabinet Secretary

I keep looking for a good joke to reply to but so far - nada. Keep firing away fellas.

By the way I haven't seen Cameron posting lately. Would someone check the rose bushes outside his headquarters, please. If he isn't there than he may have fallen asleep on the train again. Last time he ended up in a Denver jail for vagrantcy.

Blake

I think you dug that up from last year....sounds strangely familiar
ya'll talk about my jokes....
at least one thing can be said about Yanks...ya'lls jokes all look and sound the same...

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee

Since this is ‘True Confessions’ time, I wanted to share a story from one of General Blake’s staff meetings:

General Blake arrived at the staff meeting even later than he usually did, driving a fine new carriage pulled by a set of matched bays. General Miller complimented him and inquired as to how he acquired such fine transportation, in view of the blockade. General Blake relayed the following tale.

“I was strolling to this meeting when a lovely young lady pulled up next to me, driving this here fine carriage, and asked if I would like a ride. I accepted her gracious offer and climbed aboard, at which time she began driving the team out of town and into the country, down lanes I had never even seen before. Finally, she pulled off into a small clearing in a clump of trees, climbed down from the carriage, removed all of her clothes, smiled at me and winked, then said, ‘Take what you want, General.’ “

“So, I took the carriage.”

General Miller stroked his gray beard thoughtfully then nodded. “You made a wise choice, General Blake. I’m sure those clothes of hers would never have fit you.”

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General 'Dee Dubya' Mallory