Your first issue wouldn't be a problem at this point, unless the same problem exists for 2 on 2 and 1 on 1 - nothing exists for a higher MP game than those for the ACW mod.
I can see the point on the lag issue, though. Hey, THERE's an idea...we could require the Yanks to play using their slowest PCs, and give the Rebs can play with their fastest ones...

*snicker* *wink*
Another problem could be that apparently there is also an ACW mod out for the Napoleonic Total War release...have to have enough with each version to make it worth it, I guess....

Regards,
Lt. Col. David McWaters
CSA
(Yes, my signature is out of date - I need to update it now that the ANV has undergone a restructuring....