First...I just want to say how touching it is to be missed by the fine gents of the South. Glad to see that Southern chivalry hasn't given up the ghost yet.
What a bunch of lies and calumny! Is Pinkerton working for you boys in the South now?????
The "unmentionables" comment. Psssh. Kicked by a pack mule? Yes. In the...ahem..."unmentionables"????? Not quite...unless you count my Colt revolver an "unmentionable". That "group of soldiers" was a group of blind men that had volunteered for the Invalid Corp to count spoons for mess kits and had over indulged in a keg of apple jack.
The only way, sir, that you could have contacted my dear mother would be with an ouija board as she passed away several years ago. The wretched creature that your "good authority" came from was no doubt my step-mother. Yeah. Not a big fan of me, that one is.
As far as the loosing goes...well, sir,... *takes a long drink from a suddenly produced flask*... *sniffs*...somebody has to do it. Yes. As I told your cohort, Captain Holt, I've gotten so use to giving away my swords at surrenders, I started ordering them wholesale from a frim in Detroit. Im also thinking about changing the color of my sword sash month to month as an added feature to identify at a glance what month the surrender occurred!
Kids. Those darn kids. So fickle and easily swayed. Wasn't it just last Halloween those little rascals were begging door to door for candy in the then famous General Rob Meadows "Why-Carry-Your-Corp-Flag-When-You-Can-Wear-It" costume?????
