Colonial Campaigns Club (CCC)

Things seem a little stagnant so let me stir things up some, whether it gets a chuckle at my expense or someone takes me up on the offer. <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Watching the movie Rob Roy inspired me to take on a "student" for serious study of 1776 and 1812. As the movie's Montrose had his foppish alter-ego fencing specialist Archibald to make bets on and grow rich by, I'm looking for a British newbie to reveal the subtle nuances of the game to in order to mince all enemies of the Crown, and to put them in their proper place. <img src=icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle> Er...there is a small cost for this training and support. <img src=icon_smile_8ball.gif border=0 align=middle> Requirements are enlistment in the 3rd Foot Guards of the Guard Brigade, Center Wing. The trainee should be willing to get into the spirit of the game, carrying himself with all proper Brrritish aplomb both on the field and in the tavern, <img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle> and he should have the time to be very active in the club. In return for this service I promise many glorious victories, <img src=icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle> the most expensive wigs and acouterments, <img src=icon_smile_clown.gif border=0 align=middle> and much fear and loathing by the Colonials. <img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>

Is there one among you who seeks fame and cyber-fortune in the King's Foot Guards <img src=icon_smile_question.gif border=0 align=middle>

<font color=gold>B.General Phil Natta</font id=gold>
<font color=red>1st Foot Guards</font id=red>


No Quarter asked, No Quarter given.

Darn!! that almost makes me want to join up with the British.... well .... maybe .... not <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Garry Cope
[url="http://web2.airmail.net/gco047/1776/DucCope/ddillon.htm"]1er,7e,d'Dillon,French,CCC[/url] Lt Colonel (SecWar, CiC)
[url="http://web2.airmail.net/gco047/csausa/4thTexas/4thTexas.htm"]1st Div, II-Corps, ANV, ACWC[/url] General

Well, if this aint a good reason to swell the enlistment offices of the Americans I don't know what is. The chance to beat up on an effeminate, wig wearing, no self esteem aristocracy wanna be; and his self appointed, in-bred, minor aristrocratic tutor all at the same time. <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

This will be fun. <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>

Pvt Gremmels
Northern Department

Edited by - Tom Gremmels on 10/02/2001 13:37:10

<b><font color=pink>CHORTLE CHORTLE</font id=pink></b> <img src=icon_smile_blush.gif border=0 align=middle>

I say old boy! A jolly fine parry there Private Gremmels! But if my most generous offer does swell the ranks of you commoners and farmers, more the better eh what? As the situation stands now my good man, there's scarcely enough blue targets to spread around for our fine officers! Now let's see, how does that quaint provincial saying go...."rally 'round the flag boys"? Right then!

Your depiction of myself is correct. "Self appointed"... yes, thank you. "Minor aristocrat", indeed! But my military gains were earned on your fields, at your forts, and in your ramshackle villages rather than by the purse of my most esteemed family. "Inbred", well...we must keep the bloodlines pure now, what what? <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

I do have a minor grievance with your description of my protege however sir. You will <b><font color=red>NOT</font id=red></b> beat up on my effeminate, wig wearing, no self esteem aristocracy wanna be! <img src=icon_smile_kisses.gif border=0 align=middle>

<font color=gold><center><b>Brigadier General Phil Natta</b></center></font id=gold><center>[url="http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/cccbritisharmy/FootGuards.htm"]<img src="http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/cccbritisharmy/sigflag.gif " border=0>[/url]</center><b><center><font color=red>1st Foot Guards</font id=red></center></b><center><img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle></center><center><u><font color=gold>"No quarter asked, no quarter given!"</u></center></font id=gold>

Edited by - Phil Natta on 10/02/2001 18:59:00

Phil,

I've been meaning to ask, since you're a King's Foot Guard does that make you a shoe? ... and then would your fop be a sock?

<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

Ensign Al Amos
1st U.S. Dragoons 1812-R

[url="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/1812regulars.htm"]<img src="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/chippewa_s.gif " border=0>[/url]

If the shoe fits Al, I will wear it. But it must be a size 10 leopard skin thigh high English riding boot <img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle>

General,

May I volunteer to be the first challenge to your ......... fop? Side wagers are most welcome and encouraged.

Pvt Gremmels
Northern Dept

<font color=yellow>In the words of that great muppet, Sam the American Eagle, "They're all weirdos!"</font id=yellow> <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>


<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=2 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
If the shoe fits Al, I will wear it. But it must be a size 10 leopard skin thigh high English riding boot <img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle>
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size=2 id=quote><font color=blue></font id=blue>

Private Gremmels, you may have to wait for Brig-Gen Natta to actually 'appoint' someone first!! - knowing the British this means flogging them senseless until they agree, getting them drunk and incapable of speech or preferably both... <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> Such are the modern recruiting methods of the British army!!

Phil, a couple of questions -
1. will this person have a 'special' relationship with the Guards and hence the King?
2. Will you be grooming them to follow in your footsteps (shudder!)?
3. Can we call him baby Natty? <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

PS - I'll wager a months points on Tom beating your newbie!!

CCC Rank = Major
CinC Colonial Army


Edited by - David O Connor on 10/03/2001 13:09:14

Bartender,

From here on I am buying every Patriotic Colonial a raw plate of squirrel meat and warm whiskey who makes a wager; and for every loyalist, tea and crumpets, who excepts the bet on the Generals 'light in the loafer' Fop. <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Gentlemen and Englishmen, place your bets.

Major O'Connor,

Regarding your 2nd question -

"Will you be grooming them to follow in your footsteps (shudder!)?"

Ever watch monkeys at the zoo? hehehehe...

Ensign Al Amos
1st U.S. Dragoons 1812-R

[url="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/1812regulars.htm"]<img src="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/chippewa_s.gif " border=0>[/url]

Well as they say squirrel eaters, two things in life that are certain, death and taxes. You see first we implemet the Navigation Act, the Stamp Act and then we will run you through with the bayonet,if you doth protest too much. I put my money squarely behind Natta and his apprentice.

Dunmores Ethiopians-British Army 1776/1812 Club
Loyal Irish Volunteers AoC ACWGC
1/42nd Highlanders-Anglo/Allied Army NWC

It's a tad early to place wagers gentlemen and commoners, but it's nice to see the queue forming up. <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Despite General O'Connor's portrayal of British "press-gang" methods for enlistment into regular units, I assure you such methods are totally foreign to His Majesty's Guard units. <img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle> The fact is sir, that we reject 90% of those able bodied men who dream and aspire to join this elite brigade. Proper refinement, military prowess, a penchant for triple sized wigs, false moles and perfumed kerchiefs at the cuff are absolute essentials mind you, <img src=icon_smile_clown.gif border=0 align=middle> and having the given name of Reginald, Percival, or Archibald is a bloomin' plus!

Nevertheless, should no quaking newcomer accept this most remarkable offer of mine, I shall inquire into the regular ranks, where I trust that a suitable fop...er, protege can be found and molded into a sterling example of British military and aristocratic menace to the locals. <img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle>

Your answers General O'Connor:
1. will this person have a 'special' relationship with the Guards and hence the King?
<font color=gold>This person must agree to be an officer in the Guard brigade, which will entitle him to a "special relationship" with the Queen perhaps, <img src=icon_smile_kisses.gif border=0 align=middle> but a normal military relationship with the King.</font id=gold>

2. Will you be grooming them to follow in your footsteps (shudder!)?
<font color=gold>Naturally under my tutelage and sponsorship, he will certainly amass innumerable glorious victories. He may not however, borrow my leopard skin boots! <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle></font id=gold>

3. Can we call him baby Natty?
<font color=gold>If you insist, till he beats the straw stuffings out of you. <img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle></font id=gold>

T'would be interesting to wager one's "points" on the outcome of a future engagement between my fop, eh...protege, and one of you poor disillusioned colonial chaps, but I imagine that it could develop into a logistical nightmare. Be aware that once this fop, umm, protege accepts my shilling, extensive and accelerated martial drills will be necessary, which may take a fortnight. Only then will I unleash him onto an unworthy yet haughty colonial adversary. <img src=icon_smile_angry.gif border=0 align=middle>

If anyone is interested in partaking of this little drama, you may privately contact me in strict confidence, should you fear reprisals from your regular unit leaders, till it is deemed that you are ready to crush the rebellion out of these squirrel skinners, uncivilized heathens, and pretend blue-jacketed martinets!

Pip pip, cheerio, and all that rot.

<font color=gold><center>Brigadier General Phil Natta</center></font id=gold><font color=red><center>His Majesty's First Regiment of Foot Guards</center></font id=red>

Gross! You eat rotten Cheerios?!?

Ensign Al Amos
1st U.S. Dragoons 1812-R

[url="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/1812regulars.htm"]<img src="http://www.angelfire.com/ok4/amos/CCC/chippewa_s.gif " border=0>[/url]

Al, a single rotten Cheerio would be considered a delicacy in that mob you call an army. That is compared to the usual fare of molasses and green corn. No wonder your mob runs so much....

Dunmores Ethiopians-British Army 1776/1812 Club
Loyal Irish Volunteers AoC ACWGC
1/42nd Highlanders-Anglo/Allied Army NWC