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In his wisdom, His Britannic Majesty has decided to issue a last call to all his subjects in his North American colonies who are currently engaged in rebellion against his benevolent rule or are supporting his foreign enemies to return to loyalty and rejoin the crown. His Majesty extends the hand of peace and forgiveness to everyone who regrets his sins; he turns his back on no-one who reconsiders. All rebels or their French or Indian supporters who lay down their arms and swear an oath of allegiance to the British crown before the first day of April in this year of 1776 will be forgiven their treason and all other criminal acts they may have committed during the rebellion (capital offenses that would have been punishable by death during peacetime of course excluded). Every officer or NCO in the rebel, French or Indian armies who wishes to join the loyal forces of the crown is hereby guaranteed a position of equal rank and pay as in his former army, as well as being assigned to a regiment of his own choosing.
<u>To the rebellious subjects of the crown: </u>
This is your chance to exchange your rags for a shiny new uniform of finest British wool, your pitchfork for a brandnew precision firearm of English manufacture, your diet of half a worm-eaten cracker a day for plenty of finest corned beef, and your being led from one disaster into the next by run-away backwood farmhands playing officer for being commanded by the creme of the elite officers of the finest and strongest army on earth. Consider it now - does the one country in the world that combines the highest stage of civilization, industry, culture, and progress with incomparable civil liberties and a generous system of benevolent rule and immaculate justice really deserve being betrayed in favour of disorder, anarchy, backwardness, and the rule of arrogant Virginia aristocrats, corrupt New York politicians, and fanatic Boston lawyers? Is it not worthwhile being part of an empire that encompasses the world? Think twice before you refuse this generous offer your King makes you.
<u>To the subjects of His Most Christian Majesty: </u>
You are well aware that your feeble empire in North America is already ailing and finally doomed. If it is your wish to remain peacefully settled in these vast and rich colonies that have to offer so much to every man prepared to do a day's work, say his prayers, raise a family and keep loyal to his rightful sovereign, you have to see that only His Britannic Majesty can guarantee you a lasting peace and a unified, prospering nation that will leave you free to attend to your peacetime pursuits. Don't wait - the Bourbon monarchs have nothing to offer you - join the forces of peace, progress, and freedom.
<u>To the brave warriors of the Indian tribes:</u>
Unlike all other white men, the red-coated warriors have to offer you more than just beads, outdated firearms, funny hats, and cheap spirits. (We offer you all those things too, of course!) The great warrior chief of the redcoats in New York and the great white supreme chief over the water, he who rules the world, promise you eternal peace and protection from all your enemies, foreign and domestic. If you support the rule of the redcoated warriors in all your lands, war, conflict, and restlessnes will come to an end and you can forever enjoy the benefits of uncontested possession of your ancestral lands and see your children grow up in peace and under the benevolent supervision of the most progressive and enlightened power on earth. This is an offer only the great chief of the redcoats can make you. Don't hesitate.
<b><font color="yellow">March 31 is your last chance.</font id="yellow"></b>[8D]</font id="Tahoma">