Colonial Campaigns Club (CCC)

Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green
my dogs name is blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass
which excite me in May
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
just a-fry'n in the pan
Yo're as fragrant as snuff
right out of the can.

You have some-a yore teeth
for which I am proud
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms
well I'm in hog heaven
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work
they all want to know
what I did to deserve
such a purdy young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there for yore man
to patch up lifes troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin overhead
you ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gun rack
my life is complete
ain't nuttin I lack.

Yore complexion is purfect
like the best vinyl sidin
despite all the years
yore age it keeps hidin.

Me 'n' you's like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men they buy chocolate
for Valentine's day
They git it at Wal-Mart
it's romantic that way.

Some men get roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger
"That's impressive" I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth
diamonds are forever
they explain suave and couth.

But for this man honey
these just won't do
cause yore too special
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift
without taste or odor
more useful than diamonds
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

Al - hehe - loved the part about Blue's fleas! Reminds me of my time in Morgan's Rifles. Lace and fleas does not go together.