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 Post subject: Questions for the club
PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2003 7:05 am 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2001 6:38 pm
Posts: 1414
Location: Broken Arrow, OK, USA
1) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, " I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2) Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen looked edible?

3) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

4) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

5) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

6) Can a hearse, carrying a corpse, drive in the carpool lane?

7) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9) Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if
they are going to look up there anyway?

10) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?They're both dogs!

11) What do you call male ballerinas?

12) Why ARE Trix only for kids?

13) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff,
why didn't he just buy dinner?

14) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

15) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17) If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to
hear him, is he still wrong?

18) If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

19) Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
20) Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?

21) Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

22) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he
gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.

23) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a
billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell
you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2003 8:54 am 
#1 and #2 is easy - Adam.
#4 is easy - that is so dad cant sneak and get his ice cream at night (was this what motivated this question?)
#6 only if the corpse is not the designated driver. I assume that all hearse drivers must be snipping a bit from the flask to do THAT job.
#7 Al, c'mon. We are talking about an EDUCATED man? Can a man who knows theoretical science actually accomplish anything practical? (I work with eggheads - know this one firsthand).
#8 Trix for adults are found in bad sections of town.
#14 Brokers are the ones that make you broke. Right? "Yes, you will love this 3000 sq foot home, and with our interest rate we can make it affordable for you!" (says Fred Sanford) "You big dummy, look what you got us into now!" (says Lamont)"Dad, you didnt actually SIGN those papers?"
#21 Yez!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2003 9:00 am 
More funnies...
1. Why is a place where you park your car called a Driveway and where it is driven is called a Parkway?
2. Why do dentists use a DRILL but dont bother to CHUCK the bill?
3. If a psychiatrist burps in the forest does anyone care?
4. What does an attorney wear to court - Lawsuits of course!
5. If the Moon is made out of cheese and Neal Armstong golfed on the Moon then does that mean that Wisconsin is the home of golfing astronauts?
6. Which college in the US South will not allow a more modern highway to be built nearby? Tulane.
7. What kind of dog did Moses have with him when he parted the Red Sea? Irish Setter of course!

Ok - enough is enough!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2003 11:16 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 11:32 am
Posts: 141
Location: USA
If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

What's another word for "Thesaurus"?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who was that woman I saw you with?

"Young lady, why did you hit that man in the head with a sack of quarters?" - "Judge, he called me a two-bit whore!"

Have you stopped beating your wife?

Do your feet smell? Does your nose run? You must be upside down.

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full!

How did the ancient Spartans separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar!

Woman: If you was my husband I'd feed you poison!
Man: If you was my wife, I'd eat it!


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