Colonial Campaigns Club (CCC)

All you invaders to my homeland beaware! I am a brabd new Indian and am looking for a few scalps to decorate my scalp pole. Any takers?
Have French and Indian War at present with 1776 and 1812 to be up shortly. Do not care about which side I play or what scenario. [:D][:D]

The Grand Chief of the Redcoats is willing to do battle with you, young brave, to give you a fair chance to gain that scalp. [^] What about Braddock's Defeat?

Why do these redmen continue to think that they can adorn their scalp poles with British trophies? The last time a heathen was close enough to me to try a scalping, all he got was a handful of wig, and in his shocked amazement, I shot him at point blank range with my pearl and gem encrusted dueling pistols. [xx(]

The young brave seems not precisely to be itching to get himself that scalp ... and the other young brave has just informed me that he can't take the field but is rather going on vacation! [:0]

What's wrong with your boys, Rich? They seem to be lacking the proper warrior spirit. [|)]

An Indian on holiday?[?]? Where's he going...hunting, fishing, horseback riding?[?]? Perhaps all that gold braid of yours frightened them off Dierk, [8D] which is why I leave the new meat to be chewed up by other new meat. [:p] Unless of course they get jiggy with the Guard. [}:)]

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Phil Natta</i>
Perhaps all that gold braid of yours frightened them off Dierk, [8D]
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Hah! As Injuns engage in throat-cutting from behind a tree instead of accepting battle in the open as would become a gentlemen, I figure they have no reason to be afraid of some gold lace and one dozen and half of medals. [}:)]

It seems that British Army Officers do not understand that we poor, Red Savages do not quite grasp the complexity of computer warfare and that it may take a few days to reply. I have sent couriers to your tents Gentlemen, we Noble Savages never run from a fight, especially with someone dressed so pretty.[:D]

My young brave, I believe it was only me who offered you a battle ... Sir Phil was only trying to comfort me. [:p]

Aye General, but just this morning a withered old squaw hobbled into my HQ with a parchment written in crude symbols. Not being able to read Abnaki myself, I asked my manservant for an interpretation. Here's a rough translation:

<i>"Fancy redcoat from across heap big water. You and your other gold braided General brother hint of war with Abnaki people. Let us turn hint into reality. We Abnaki warriors are tired of shucking corn, picking berries, and washing buckskins in stream all day while our women make plans of war with trespassing white men. Our squaws are war weary now and have ordered our warriors to take up war clubs and muskets against you this time while they prepare scalping poles, which really is our job."

"Anabki not stupid people, we know of false hair that evil redcoats hide under like furry little rabbits which need skinning. We want both false and real hair this time, and squaws say if we not do this we must spend next 2 full moons sleeping alone in sweat lodge. Abnaki men not prepared to pay this heavy price, so we are forced to make war with two big redcoat generals. Squaw who owns me especially wants your pretty red jackets for me to sew into new dress for her. She say me fail, me have to scale fish for whole tribe! So children of Great White Father George, please come to terms of battle with Abnaki warriors and spare us the wrath of our squaws.....please."</i>

Well General Walter, it seems our luck has finally run out and our fate is sealed. Through this verbose document, I take it that if we do not deal with the Abnaki warriors now, we'll have to deal with the Abnaki women later, a proposition that decidedly does not appeal to this particular redcoat. [V] I don't know your exact situation General, but I've ordered the Guard to mobilize. All of England is watching, along with the Abnaki squaws. (gulp)[B)]

Ah, surely it's not that serious, Sir Phil. I am convinced the 1st Foot Guards can deal with some savages, even if they are females? [8D]