A Hanoverian 2nd Lieutenant, better known as “The Rat”, patiently stands outside the orange field tent of his Commander-in-Chief. In each hand, he holds the reins of a horse. One is his, the other belongs to his hapless commander who is being taken to task for his recent actions involving a violation of proper recruitment protocols. Officers and men passing near the tent cannot help but hear the loud yelling taking place therein. The commanding voice of Lieutenant-Genaraal Bijl is unmistakable as he councils his subordinate on the meaning of “bringing shame to our fine Army”, “gross dereliction of duty”, and “conduct that is definitely not becoming to an officer of the Anglo-Allied Army, much less his own Staff Adjutant”! No reply is heard from the poor Hanoverian Lieutenant Colonel that is the focus of his commander’s undivided attention.
The relentless tirade continues for a full twenty minutes before trailing off into an ominous silence. After a few minutes, The Rat begins to become a bit nervous, his imagination starting to get the best of him as he envisions Lieutenant Generaal Bijl with his hands wrapped tightly around the Hanoverian Commander’s throat. Just as he has about decided to brave the wrath of his Commander-in-Chief to intervene, and possibly save the life of his beloved Brigade Commander, the tent flap moves aside as the Hanoverian Lieutenant Colonel walks toward his horse.
No words are spoken as the Brigade Commander takes his horse’s reins from his loyal Lieutenant. Both men mount and ride away from their Army’s Headquarters.
As they ride, The Rat steals a furtive glance at Lieutenant Colonel Jones, trying to glean some insight into the meeting’s ramifications. His Colonel’s expression remains neutral as they silently ride together. Finally, The Rat can no longer bear the suspense. “So”, says the Hanoverian Lieutenant, “will I actually get to attend the Court Martial, or are you off straight away to the firing squad?”
The Hanoverian Colonel cracks a smile at The Rat’s inquiry. “Actually, Sir Rat, it is neither” replies the Colonel.
“Well, begging your pardon, sir, but from what I, and for that matter the entire Army, heard, it did not sound like there were any other options” said the Lieutenant. “You are not telling that you somehow managed to get out of this one too, are you?”
The Lieutenant Colonel breaks into a broad grin. “Why certainly you know me better than that by now, Sir Rat!”
Now The Rat breaks into a broad grin of his own, “Yes, I do know you better than that, sir, but it is beyond me how you always seem to emerge from these confrontations unscathed. How did you manage to pull this one off, sir? Lieutenant-Generaal Bijl was so very angry about your recent recruitment posting.”
“Yes, I must admit that he was rather miffed when we arrived” replied the Colonel. “It is the Commanding Officer’s duty to set the proper course for his men. Actions like mine must be generally discouraged as they can result in a widespread breakdown of discipline if allowed to run unchecked. There were two reasons why I was not placed in front of a firing squad today. The first was a dispatch I received from Generaal Moss. I was compelled to endure quite a long period of ‘tender counseling’ before I judged the proper opportunity to present the dispatch to Generaal Bijl.”
“It must have been a compelling dispatch, sir” said The Rat.
“It was rather compelling, I suppose” replied the Colonel. “The Generaal’s dispatch was sent to inform me that I needed to prepare myself to take on additional training duties for a great influx of enlistments our army was suddenly experiencing. Generaal Moss could see that he alone was going to be quickly overwhelmed. He went on to say that he was completely baffled by the sudden number of young men wishing to join the Anglo-Allied Army. He admitted to never having seen this type of response before. This dispatch seemed to change Generaal Bijl’s perception of the actual harm caused by my recent recruiting actions.”
“Yes, I can see where it would” said the Lieutenant. “What was the second reason for our venerable Army Commander’s sudden change of attitude?”
“Oh, that” relied the Colonel. “I do believe the second reason was probably more compelling than the first. I simply promised Generaal Bijl that I would personally see to it that he had the very first date with Kate!”
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