Napoleonic Wargame Club (NWC)

"Another day auctioning off French estates. Its enjoyable but very tiring all the same. All of those mad-moi-selles chattering. The decadent perfume they are forced to wear because Napoleon has demanded the Continental Gridlock system. Oh the odor!"

He settles in at a table with The Black Menace members.

"Here General! Welcome!" says Herr Fredel. "Helga, a LARGE lemonade for our commander."

"Ah, thank you Herr Fredel. How are things going?"

"Ah mein General, we have the Frenchettes on the run at Grossbeeren. Tis lovely to see them running away. Poor Saxons never should have stayed with le Tondu. He drags them into campaigns like 1812 where they lose their entire corps (1000 men or so returning looking like frozen scarecrows). Then he makes them rebuild their army and drags it all over Germany. Look at them! Poor slobs."

"Yes, Saxon estates for us to auction off soon. I can see it now. Fraus and frauleins lining up for miles to try and get their valuables before the PrussianBay officers crate them off for shipment."

"Could I interest you sir in a game of whist?"

"Certainly herr Fredel. Are you men in too? Then off to a hot tub for me. Shipping those last 11 estates was a real bear!"

_________________


Generalfeldmarschall Wilhelm Prinz Peters von Dennewitz

3. Husaren-Regiment, Reserve-Kavallerie, Preußischen Armee-Korps

Honarary CO of Garde-Ulanen Regiment, Garde-Grenadier Kavallerie

NWC Founding Member

For Club Games: I prefer the Single Phase mode of play. I prefer to play with the following options OFF:

MDF, VP4LC, NRO, MTD, CMR, PR, MIM, NDM, OMR (ver 4.07)

The Commander of the Hanoverian Brigade takes a brief moment to brush the dust off his uniform before entering the tavern. After all, Helga will have his hide if he messes up her clean establishment. Satisfied that he is not excessively dowdy today, he confidently opens the door and crosses the threshold.

The tavern is rather sparsely occupied this evening. He notices that the Prussian cavalry officers are occupying their usual table, seemingly engrossed in their usual game of Whist. There is a veteran French Colonel laughing and exchanging jokes with his comrade. The table normally occupied by the ‘Triumvirate of France’ sits empty at the moment; a more common occurrence recently than in times past. A young, green coated Jager officer sits by himself at the Hanoverian’s table, nursing his beer and seemingly deep in thought. The veteran Hanoverian Colonel takes three strides toward his usual table when a blue clad officer rises from a table in the nearby shadows. The Frenchman’s uniform has small tears in various locations and his face is scratched from what would appear to be an encounter with some thorny underbrush. The cheap perfume he wears is nearly overwhelming, as is the familiar garlic on his breath when he speaks.

“You’re………you’re……….you’re d…………you’re d..d….d……..you’re d…d….d…..d….d..,” stutters the French Legere Officer. “You’re d…des…..desp…………..Despicable!”

The Hanoverian grins at the hapless Frenchman. “So, I take it one of your men made off with the mirror,” he asks.

“Y…Y….Yes”, says the French officer as he sadly hangs his head. The poor man is the epitome of dejection.

“There, there”, says the Hanoverian as he pats his French adversary on the shoulder. “You will have another chance one day. After all, there are plenty more mirrors available to those of us who do not subscribe to that foolish Continental System.”

Leaving the somber Frenchman to his remorse, the Hanoverian Colonel continues on, nodding to the Commander of the ‘Black Menace’ as he passes. “Guten abend, Herr General.” The Prussian commander nods in return, but is deeply engrossed by the card game at hand. Probably making sure his officers aren’t cheating, thinks the Hanoverian as he passes.

At the Colonel’s approach, the young Ensign raises his gaze to meet that of his commanding officer. “Why so somber, Ensign Pecolo,” asks the Colonel as he takes his usual seat.

“Well, sir”, replies the Ensign as he glances toward the jovial French Colonel at a nearby table, “I seem to have run into a problem in my first battle.”

“I see”, says the Hanoverian Colonel as he casts a furtive glance to be certain that his most recent trainee is not carrying an empty scabbard. To his relief, the young officer’s sword appears intact.

“I almost had him, sir,” blurts the young Ensign. “It was so close. The victory was within my grasp, but when the battle ended, it was scored as a Draw by the very narrowest of margins.”

“Well, that would explain the reason for the Frenchman’s celebrations then,” says the Hanoverian Colonel. “There are very few French officers who have faced a Hanoverian’s sword and concluded the battle still in possession of their own. Do not worry, Ensign, there are always new battles to be won.”

“Yes, sir,” replies the Ensign. “Speaking of which, I thought you were engaged in a battle with Lt. Bell against GdB Boucheron and Lt. Medeiros.”

“Indeed I am, Ensign Pecolo,” says the Colonel, “but GdB Boucheron requested a brief cease fire. It seems that a French ship succeeded in running the British blockade. GdB Boucheron requested a few days so that he could purchase some items from their cargo. This Continental System of the Corsican Despot is wreaking havoc on the commodities that the French can obtain.”

“So the French General wanted to procure some of these items while they were still available,” says the Hanoverian Ensign. “What was he looking for, sir?”

“Stiletto heels,” says the Colonel as he motions to Helga for a round of Jagermeister. “It seemed to have something to do with getting them in his size before someone else did. I believe he said if they were too loose, he would rub a blister, but if too small, they would pinch.....”

Well, Well the same old drags and the same ole speech how they beat some French officers, I can’t understand this I need one of them skull heads or them lobsters backs to be a man and face this son of the Iles where’s your Ba—s!

Oh I know in my bag with all the rest ! HA .Ha look at that so call Prussi over there with his back to me!

“Stiletto heels? For the General himself, sir,” asks the startled Ensign. “Are you sure they were not for some lady friend perhaps?”

“Well, I suppose there is an outside chance of that as well,” says the Hanoverian Colonel as he generously tips Helga for the shot glass and bottle of Jager she has placed on the table. “Their language is so hard to understand that I often take things out of context,” he continues as he carefully pours the first shot of the evening. Tipping the glass, he consumes the amber libation in one gulp, and dutifully waits for the intense burning to subside. Looking around the tavern, he comments, “It seems to be quite barren in here of late. I do hope that Helga is making enough money to keep the doors of this fine establishment open. I suppose we shall just have to drink twice our share tonight to make up for those who are missing. Besides, I have plenty of captured French coin to carry us well into the evening, and numerous nights thereafter,” says the Colonel with a broad grin. “Drink up, Ensign. Your only duty will be to make sure the villainous Peacock of France does not sneak in here again and strap one of those dang metal boxes around my chest. The last one was quite difficult to remove. Oh, and don’t let me sign any papers proffered by Marechal Bardon either.” He grins at his newest protégée, “not even if he claims they are Unconditional Surrender documents for his ill fated Empire. Until he remands the Corsican Roach for execution by a Hanoverian firing squad, there can be no deal.”

"What is that French Colonel going on about, sir," asks the young Ensign.

The Hanoverian Commander glances over at the table occupied by a French Colonel of the Artillerie de Cheval. "Oh, that. Yes, it would appear that Colonel Marbot is drunk again. He often issues challenges in such a state. Not to worry Ensign, it will not be too much longer before his wine overtakes him and he slumps over his table to sleep it off as usual."

Well if Col Marbot was here he would slip your red coat face but since am Col Dumas i will pour some of that rout gut you are drinking in your little play mate face!I don't drink and I know you are a busy man running around with that turn coat Prussi! Plus I know for sure you have no Ba--s! There in that Prussi pocket.

"Another day at PrussianBay. Thirty-nine Saxon estates sold today. I am worn out. Its harder to deal with their effects than their soldiers on the battlefield!"

The tired Prussian trooper settles into a booth. Muddy Jones shows him a smirk.

"Yes, Herr Jones probably is thinking that the money we made on the estates will help pay the war debt to the British. Victory does have its costs!"

_________________


Generalfeldmarschall Wilhelm Prinz Peters von Dennewitz

3. Husaren-Regiment, Reserve-Kavallerie, Preußischen Armee-Korps

Honarary CO of Garde-Ulanen Regiment, Garde-Grenadier Kavallerie

NWC Founding Member

For Club Games: I prefer the Single Phase mode of play. I prefer to play with the following options OFF:

MDF, VP4LC, NRO, MTD, CMR, PR, MIM, NDM, OMR (ver 4.07)

I guess them Prussi farms and all them Cheval's we got for the pass7 years finely paid off if you got to sell them to pay them shop keepers their do! I was looking forward in beating some red coat bums in Spain oh well maybe next year!

"Yes, my apologies Colonel Dumas," says the Hanoverian Colonel, "I seem to have been having quite a time of familiar faces bearing different names of late. I do consider it fortunate that Colonel Marbot is not present this evening, for slapping the face of one of the King's Guards Cavalry Officers would indeed be a grave mistake from which he might never recover."

"Now, as far as Ensign Pecolo is concerned, I do believe that he is quite capable of taking care of himself," continues the Hanoverian Commander. "A bit young I admit, but aren't they all these days. I have every expectation that he will grow into the fine Jager uniform that he now wears."

"And as for my personal courage," the Hanoverian pauses as he takes a second shot of Jager and endures the momentary, speechless silence that accompanies the act, "I have faced some of the very finest officers your army has to offer, and fared tolerably well in the process. I fear no Frenchman in your army, and there are some who carry my very deepest respect."

"Lastly, regarding the wise Prussian General who perceptively recognized the ruinous path on which the Despotic Usurper has committed your nation, and who had the wisdom and courage to change to the winning side, I really cannot say 'what's its got in it's pocketses'."

"What's it got in it's pocketses," - oh Gollum!
Two French officers having entered the common room of the tavern sit at a table with their drinks and listening to the conversation. One is a Capitaine of Dragons, his distinctive helmet with it's leopard fur turban lay on the table beside him. The other wears the dark green field jacket of a light infantryman, it's pewter buttons shaped as hunting horns. The Lieutenant of Light Infantry interjects himself into the flow of words between officers of the Empire and those from the Pale Without. "I must say though, I will take our "usurper" over your various Windsors, HaplessBurgs, Holyzollerns, and Bourbons any time on the battlefield. And at least the Bonapartes married into other families, spreading the bloodline as it were, rather than keeping it all in the family, so to speak.
As for "despotic", true despotism resulted in the most unfortunate creation of the guillotine, as a reaction to tyranny of the very few over the masses.
But politcs will always have us arguing left vs right. It is the result upon the fields of 'bloody decisions' that there can be no argument about, and where us men from opposing sides, will earn the respect, maybe grudgingly, but respect nonetheless, of those we have fought."
The officer pauses to drain the last of his wine, before continuing, "Perhaps some day the Tirailleurs de Dragons will face the fine league of Hanoveran Gentlemen upon said fields of glory bound.."

Well, Looking at the small garcon next too the Lobster back, nigher of you so call brave son's of the Crazy German George has face me! I don't know much about the French officers you are talking about?But on the the battle field the Artilary De Chavel is the most dangerous arm of the Armee all others are just fancy pants dancing around waiting for my guns to blow your small squares to paces! And if I look like Col Marbot it was only for a while till the Armee Commander would allow a son of Haiti fight!

Au contraire, mon ami, I did face you in a mirror match of the last Austerlitz Tournament. Surely you recall the fact that I cannot receive zipped files and my setting up of a special Gmail account so that you would be able to transfer those files to me without altering your methods in any way. You must also remember the great difficultly we had in communicating, and my subsequent insistence that Chuck Jenson become personally involved as a mediator. In the end, you and I could not actually play a game together, and I was subsequently assigned a different tournament opponent. It is not a question of my ‘bravery’. There is also our difference in philosophy over victory conditions, which has also proven to be irreconcilable. I like the Victory Point system in the HPS games, whereas you do not. Our styles and methods are incompatible, and that has been proven as a fact. You and I simply cannot play a game together, although we did try.

Ensign Pecolo is new to the club and has, in fact, played very few officers thus far, so it is not surprising that you and he have never crossed swords.

The French officers that I have faced in combat are well known. They include Marechal Jensen, Marechal Bardon, Marechal Corbin, Marechal Fuller, General Knox, General Travers, etc. In addition, in playtesting I have faced Field Marshall Blackburn, Field Marshall Pfluecke, Lt. General Kosyanenko, Generaal Moss, Marechal Fuller, etc. There are numerous others from training games and other fights as well. Am I to understand that you are a more dangerous opponent than they because you command a unit of Artillerie de Cheval?

No, good Colonel Dumas, you and I cannot fight each other. The best we can hope to do it to drink together to an expedient end to this war, and agree to differ on our preferred outcome. To your continued good health, sir! May you win many victories over the allies of the King, but never the King’s soldiers themselves, or at the very least, his Majesty’s ever loyal, German Mercenaries.

Turning to face the French Lieutenant, the Hanoverian Colonel says, “Really, sir? You must have long been into your bottle this evening. Spreading the Bonaparte bloodline over all of Europe is a good thing in your mind? Really?? What about brother Joseph on the throne of Spain? Now there was an excellent example of the superiority of the bloodline when placed in a position of rule."

"And the guillotine was used with great wisdom and restraint by you 'wise' Frenchmen to cull out the ‘Royalists’. Look, the Citizen sitting beside me has a red thread in his coat! He must be a servant of the English. Off with his head!! Ho, there is another who carries a loaf of Italian bread under his arm! Why not French bread? Seize him, seize him, off with his head!! And that poor bugger over there has a much prettier wife than mine! Since he is no better looking than I, he must have purchased her affection with English gold! Off with his head; off with her head; off with anyone and everyone’s head!!! What madness? And you French so arrogantly proclaim your superiority over all others. Really now….”

“The fact that we will never come to a political agreement is just that; a fact. I do, however, fully support your right to believe as you do, however misguided you may be. I also am a staunch believer that our struggles on the field of battle are the very best place in which a humble soldier can earn the respect of his adversaries, and likewise grant such respect to his honorable opponents. I have little doubt that the Tirailluers de Dragons will face my fine, Hanoverian officers on the field of honor one day. In fact, it is nearly inevitable I would say.”

The Hanoverian Colonel pauses to down a third shot of Jager before continuing. “You see, Lieutenant”, he says as he glances at the dejected blue coated, Legere officer, “if there is one thing that I have learned in my many years of warfare, it is that the finest Jager officers always wear coats of green.”

With a twinkle in his blue eyes, the Hanoverian raises a glass to his newest French adversary, “To your very good health, sir!”

There is one fact that cannot be denied, and that a certain Hanoverian Colonel is long winded!