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The Rhine Tavern

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 7:49 pm 
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After one week of recovery after being beat by General Jones of the the HMS Gd Dragoons I thought to return to the Tavern. As I approached the place I notice a lot of Prussi laughing. They looked at me in amazement “I thought to myself have they never seen a Mulatto officer in the French service with long hair”? What seems to be the problem I thought”! As I pass one of them he said” he's fancy one ya”! Then I saw it one of the greatest prizes of the war. “ Nay it can’t be a fur bonnet of the Imperial Guard with a cheap wine bottle in it”! My God what has become of the once proud Grand Armee this is the greatest insult I ever saw. Time to bring my gators in this place and clean it out! Wait till they taste the gun power of the III Corps Polish Artillery their well be British Dragoons hamlets and Scott bonnets and kilts and bagpipes with cheap Prussi beer in them hanging from the bar rail.



Nice one Cliff! But it is to bad on the loss.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:42 pm 
“Oh dear me, what a quandary!” exclaims the Hanoverian Guardsmen. “If what you say is true, Marechal Bardon, and my signature on the enlistment papers was indeed genuine, then Marechal Peterson has properly discharged his duties by instructing Marechal Jensen to forward me the Bearskin in question. For by the standards of your army, I am indeed qualified for an assignment to the French Vieille Garde. Or is that our army, Marechal? Whatever is a good German officer to do?” :o :shock: :roll:

“Regarding the sword which I did indeed surrender, that was really taken more by proxy than by any direct action. Still, it was honorably given, and I do respect your victory in that regard. Now, as to your baton, I agree that it is really nothing more than a symbol of office, however, it does happen to be a most excellent device for dispatching all manner of insects into mortal oblivion. Don’t worry, Marechal Bardon”, grins the Hanoverian as he takes another swallow of frosty, cold beer, “I would never use your baton for such a purpose. No, yours will surely be placed in the trophy case at Generaal Bijl’s headquarters. A fitting resting place for such a prize, and one where I surmise not many of your batons currently reside. Meet me on the fields of Saxony, Leipzig NC6 Saxony vs Russia to be precise, and we shall see if my Russian brethren can help me relieve you of the ‘symbolic burden’ that you bear.” :wink: :D :P

“And Colonel Kling, I must honestly admit that I have not the foggiest notion of my victory over the good Colonel Dumas. On my honor sir, I have never laid a hand on the man. Of course, I also don’t have any recollection of enlisting in La Grande Armee either, but I must admit, their hats are quite useful.” :o :shock: :twisted:

"And now as Der Wurger would say, zu Leid!" :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:14 pm 
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The wounds and the butt kicking that I got has put me in for two weeks of care and my mind could only see the Red coated Dragoon as he cut his way though the Emperors Dragoons and charged my guns cutting my Nubian' s that manned my guns . His brass hamlet and his funny ugly face has forever left my mine dull . Apogees Pres for putting a better looking face in my mind for it was that ugly red coated Dragoon Jim Hall who forever has cruse my vision.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:36 pm 
"Ah, I see", said the Brigadier. "Sir Hall does wear a red coat like mine, but he is actually in command of the 1st Squadron of the 1st Regiment of Life Guards, the most senior of all the British cavalry regiments. Actually, they are classified as Horse Grenadiers as opposed to Dragoons. They are also substantially better paid." :o :shock: :x


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:18 am 
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So, does that make our pending engagement a maneuver? :wink:

To test your sincerity in the service of the cause and as a loyal officer of the Confederation of the Rhine, could you see to it that the rest of your brigade joins up as well? Or if not, you can always have them summarily court-martialed. As your new commanding officer :lol: :roll: :shock: :? , I suppose I could do it if you like. :mrgreen:

_________________
Marechal Jeff Bardon
Duc de Castiglione et Prince de Wagram
Commandant de la Garde Imperiale


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:03 pm 
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By all means if Col Jones is indeed a member of the Armee of Rhine a firing squad is to be given orders to kill, oui kill that coward ASAP! We most uphold the standard of the Guard Imperial! "We might be beat but never defeated "


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:07 pm 
“Actually, my respected adversary, there is no need to test my sincerity of service. I fully and sincerely intend to be the officer to place a bullet directly in the middle of that wonderful brain of the Corsican Tyrant of France.”

“Yes, I thought that might be a deal killer for us. Now, I must admit that I do think you would be a most excellent commanding officer under which to serve, but my severe hatred for the egotistical individual that has harnessed the unrest of France to further his own personal ambitions at the callous expense of millions of lives precludes my loyal service to his cause. One bullet, one Corsican corpse, and the monarchs can go about executing each other in their time honored fashion while I go back to my home and resume my hunting of deer rather than the misguided idealists in service to an egomaniac.”

“You have my deepest and most honest respect, Marechal Bardin, but I am afraid that our meeting in Saxony will have to be a Fight as opposed to a Maneuver. That does not mean that within the walls of this tavern we cannot share a cold beer and lie to each other about our various conquests. I would let you borrow my Dragoon helmet to fabricate a beer cooler of your own configuration but, in truth, the insulating qualities of brass are much inferior to that of the bearskins worn by your Vieille Garde.”

“And I must also respectfully disagree with Colonel Dumas’ assessment of my character. Were I actually a coward, you would certainly not have been the man I challenged to personal combat. I assure you that if you somehow manage to emerge victorious, I will be facing you with sword still in hand as I am compelled to honorably surrender. You will be forced to knock it from my grasp; I will never fling it at you and run."

"Of course, I fully intend to win."

"Cheers, Marechal Bardin! A Guardsmen in any army deserves the respect of all."


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:12 pm 
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Does that mean that the firing squad is off ? Oh I can't fight now my injuries are great and my recovery will be for some time, General Hill has all but killed me one more wound and I will be out longer. I was looking forward to a firing squad :evil:
I have a Russi sword in my back and a Brit sword in my rids! My uniform is rags and a Prussi ran off with my horse my wife is dating an Austrian while am out here defending the Emperor. All that I have is the hair on my head and my mustache.When I get back to France I will go to my tailor and buy a new uniform if that Hapsburg hasn't taken all my money.!
My looks might get me a new winch to keep me warm in the winter as we once more march off to the east. Honor to all who wear the uniform of the Grade but the fur bonnet most be revenge no matter what your rank or station! :shock:


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:30 pm 
"My dear Colonel Dumas, I am certain that my fate will undoubtedly be a firing squad one day. The question remains as to whose. I have several antics under my belt now that might compell Generaal Bijl to convene one. I also recall the entire Prussian Army jumping on me En Masse. General Kosyanenko took exceptions to my comments in the past. Hmmm, perhaps the Austrians are really the only ones that currently do not have any reason to line me up against a wall." :shock: :shock: :shock:

"Besides, I am sure that Marechal Bardin is going to take me to task and teach me a valuable lesson on the battlefield." :wink: :? :oops:

"Sounds like you are having a rather rough time yourself. Here, have an ice cold beer on the Hanoverians. That might make you feel a bit better." :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:40 pm 
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The only thing at this point is that General Hall falls off his horse an that some brave French heavy horsemen steps on him. I just might get a smile on my mud covered face. My gators are all dead burned up by this heat in Texas. The only bon news was seeing that Bonnet and the remarks that followed, recovery is slow. And that Cossacks lance point most be removed. Beer will only make me think of my Horse that is now running all over Northern France with one of them bone head Prussi riding it and when I think of that woman of mind running off with that Hapsburg who is not even as Handsome as I. But vacation is great but the smell of battle is better, can't wait to recover and get back in it, woe to the man that stands before the Poles who are proving to me to be fearsome warriors.
I so wanted to be at that court marshal and see that firing squad. But oh well, tired of the smell of peace and seeing these beach girls walking before me, and I a dandy of New Orleans without proper dress to impress them. All brought on by General Hill. I think I need much much more to ease my spirit since that Brit has taken my sword not once but twice.


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