Quote:
1. Has a pulse.
2. Can sit a donkey (also known as a French cavalry charger).
3. Owns a stylish uniform that has never been soiled by mud or battle smoke.
4. Can defeat a Coalition Officer in battle at least once in every ten attempts.
5. Has an eye for rare and valuable art to steal from conquered countries.
I'm waiting

Ed - you have been at the Brandy again -you Britts really should hold off on the stuff it make you quite delirious
Now we know the English are slow so i will try to speak in small words and short sentences for your benefit ( also accounting for the amount of Brandy consumption going on over there further comprehension issues can be expected )
Now
1. Has a pulse - Yes this comes from the Big Heart we have in having to grant mercy and quarter to the British in so many battles.
2. Can sit on a Donkey - This is symbolic - as the reality is that the English are the donkey and yes the French end up riding them into the ground on a fairly regular basis - this was the common occurrence you were intending to describe I believe
3.Owns a Stylish Uniform , simply jealously overtaking the Britts again- it seems they think anything beyond the rag they wear is stylish - Now I happened to look up stylish in the dictionary - it referred to meaning "anything not British" Cruel I thought , but the truth is what it is
4. Can defeat the Britts once out of 10 times. This is simply because the British surrender on the other 9 occasions before the French can even manage a shot
5. Has an eye for rare and valuable art to steal from conquered countries. - Now this one has me puzzled as it is a complete contradiction - this would mean the British would have to own rare and valuable art to start with - now everyone knows no such thing exists in Britain. Give it a few hundred more years being so close to the French you may be able to pick up some French quality by osmosis - there is still hope
