Colonial Campaigns Club (CCC)

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By His Excellency, Brigadier General D.S. Walter, Commander-in-Chief, British Armies in America

To <font color="yellow"><b>Jack Hipkins</b></font id="yellow">, Ensign in the 42nd (Royal Highland) Regiment of Foot

Reposing full confidence in your loyalty, courage and good conduct, I do hereby constitute and appoint you, during pleasure, to be <b><font color="yellow">Lieutenant</font id="yellow"></b> in the 42nd (Royal Highland) Regiment of Foot, taking rank and precedence from the present day. You are, therefore, carefully and diligently to discharge the duty of lieutenant by exercising and well disciplining the men of the said regiment, and I do hereby command them to obey you as their lieutenant, and you are to observe and follow all such orders and directions as you shall from time to time receive from me or your superior officers, according to law.

Given under My Hand and Seal at New York this Twenty-Sixth day of May 1776 and the Sixteenth year of His Majesty's Reign,

D.S. WALTER</font id="Trebuchet MS">

Congratulation Lieutenant![^]
Let the bastards fear the sound of our Pipes.[:D]

Translation:

(Lt Hipkins hasn't posted a message yet, but this is what he means to say)

Thanks you Sirs, for your kind comments and felicitations. I will upold the honor of the Royal Highlanders and continue to trounce those Rebels![:D]

I <i>hope </i>he says that ... instead of referring to yesterday's sheep again. [:D]

Ach, way-ull, then! Gie thy bag a guid squeeze, Pipe-Major, and play us <i></i>Cock o' the North<i></i> as we slide under yon table. Ye dinnae ken the honor I feel for such a promotion as this. My kerchief, McAuslan, so as tae pipe ma eye. Ah blub wi' th'emotion of it! God bless His Majesty's wisdom, as is so apparent by his grantin' us this rank!

Noo, then, who's furst tae fill ma beaker wi' the fine cratur? And just leave the change on the bar, there, we may need it.......

A hearty slap on the back and a "Scots wha' hae!" to you Sir! A credit to the old Centre Column and to the kilt you are indeed Sir. Well look over there - looks like Gen. Walter has left some change on the bar. In that case mine is a large rum if you please barman.
Now then Lieutenant Hipkins Sir, tuck your sporran away so I have room to sit down, and I'll tell you a true story. My old father's favourite tune was "Cock o' the North". When I was a mere toddler, he would sit me on his knee, whistle loudly, and sing these words to the chorus of that very tune.
"Auntie Mary had a canary
It whistled Cock o' the North
It flew up her breeks
And stayed for weeks
And whistled Cock o' the North"
Whether this is a comment on the depravity of Scotsmen, the depravity of my Scots father, or the reason I grew up to be the sad wreck you see before you, I cannot tell. However it may be, I shall buy us another round and we'll raise the roof with a chorus or two! [:0]

Lay on, MacDuff, nae holds barred. Here, then, let's have a full rendering o' "Will ye no' Come Back Again", an' then "The Dundee Weaver". Singing lungs on a man are like healthy breasts on a woman - no' absolutely required, but oh, so fine!